GATED COMMUNITY OF MEN
Every guy I know is getting a hair transplant. Apparently the new pink is having a full head of hair. I’ve noticed the average age of the men I know getting hair transplants is in the mid 40’s. Some ad executive should jump on this bandwagon. I already have the slogan: Got a midlife crisis? Get a hair transplant. Take Arthur, for instance. Arthur plays tennis all the time. His wife died about ten years ago. Arthur is 50 years old and acts like he is a teenager just starting puberty. There are plenty of widowed/divorced women in our gated community. One problem that Arthur is having is that he is going bald. He’s a good-looking guy when he wears a hat but I think the shiny head turns women off. So, like a typical American, Arthur received a hair transplant and now thinks he is the cat’s meow. Prowling the tennis courts like he is the king. Slapping women on the butts and taking two dates in one night. Maybe, I’m just jealous! Now, Jeff is doing it for more personal reasons. He thinks his wife is going to leave him if he doesn’t stay “young”. Then we have Gary, he is one of the youngest in our community. He is an insurance executive with a beautiful house that he bought with cash. Although he is still not married, Gary plays the field and goes into the city on the weekend in search of his new conquest. He is only 28 so he has plenty of time. Gary’s problem isn’t that he doesn’t have a lot of hair, it’s that his hair is bright red, Apparently somewhere in his past he was called a sissy for his fire engine style. So now Gary is a brunette. Not a bottle brunette, he goes to salons and has it all professionally done, including highlights and probably some frosting. And me? Then we get to me. I am bald and I like it that way! I think it differentiates me from the rest of the midlife crisis men. Not to say that I am not having my midlife crisis. I have a bright red Ferrari in my garage.